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Patience

May 19, 2010

For the past month or so, my yoga instructor has been focused on the idea of letting go.  I’ve always been particularly drawn to lessons related to letting go, I don’t know why.  Maybe because I have a hard time letting go……hmmm.  So for the past month I have been trying to let go of things in my life that create dis-ease and tension.  And at first it was difficult. Really difficult.  But then as the weeks went by, I felt myself becoming more and more at ease and could feel myself start to relax my grip on so many things in my life that I felt I “needed” to let go of.  By the end of the month, I felt so proud of myself for letting go of so many things.  I felt great that I had been able to accomplish so much and integrate the lessons of my yoga into my life.  This is what I was looking for! THIS is what I have been waiting for! YESSSS!

Or was it?

This month, she is going to be focusing on decision making and the fear that we hold about whether or not we are going to make the “right” decision.  In reality, any decision we make will be the right one.  If it wasn’t the right decision, we wouldn’t have made it.  It turns out that this lesson, too, speaks to me in volumes.  As my instructor was speaking today, I got a huge slap in the face letting me know that I really haven’t let go of anything.  Ok, I have let go of some things.  But certainly not in the way that I had convinced myself that I had.  Very very different.  And it wasn’t something that I got upset or frustrated with (at least not for very long!), just an observation that I really haven’t let go of all of the things I thought I had.  It also made me realize that I have a long way to go.  Which also doesn’t bother me.  I intend to incorporate yoga into my life for a very very long time.  It was more of a reminder that I still need to work at it.  Instead of saying to myself “wow! Way to go, you’ve done such an awesome job, you’re done now!” I need to tell myself “you’re doing an awesome job, keep up the hard work!”  I mustn’t forget that all of that letting go takes effort and just because I think I’ve let go of one thing doesn’t mean that my attachment to it won’t creep back in.  And I mustn’t forget that I deserve to be patient with myself.  I deserve all the time I need to let go. Or to not let go.

In the words of Guns N’ Roses, all I need is a little  patience

Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati… (ence, yeah)
I’ve been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It’s hard to see with so many around
You know I don’t like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don’t change but maybe the name
I ain’t got time for the game
‘Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me….

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. May 19, 2010 6:34 AM

    OOOOH! So many things I am guilty of saying I have let go of when I have in fact not let go of! I think there is always room for more letting go! I hope you find yourself more and more at peace and practicing more and more patience with yourself! We all need to do that!

  2. May 19, 2010 7:39 AM

    Glad you started a blog. So many things to think about in this post. Letting go is something I’m not well versed in…or making decisions.

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